Tag Archives: late

In Which Barbara Fails at Stop, Drop, and Go…

Standard

Our elementary school is very proud of their student drop off program, “Stop, Drop, and Go”. Last year I didn’t participate at all. This year I decided to sign up for a shift. The shifts go from 7:30 to 7:55 and you stand in a line wearing an orange vest and open car doors for students.

In those 25 minutes of my shift these things happened:
• I was ten minutes late and had to wear the bum vest that wouldn’t velcro.
• I discovered it was National Walk-to-School Day and opened only five doors as most everyone walked or biked past me.
• I mortally offended a middle schooler by opening the door for her. I attempted to provide a balm by saying, “Oh, no, of course you’re much too old to go here.” It didn’t help.
• I couldn’t close a minivan door, the woman repeatedly yelling at me, “Lift it up! Lift it up!”
• A boy and a girl hopped out. The mom yelled, “I love you!” I told the girl to tell her mother she loves her. The girl said, “She’s not my mother! She’s a carpool!”

[Barbara bows. Mic drop.]