I’ve been sick this week and it has been horrible. I came home from church on Sunday feeling weak and achey. I gave out walking in the door. I crawled into bed and for the next two days had weird fever dreams about snorkeling in the Bahamas and getting hit on by a young and over confident Bill Nye the Science Guy.(?!) Because the universe is efficient, my period began on Monday which lent a delightful sensation to every hacking fit. I was dying and I had the blood to prove it.
There were a lot of fun things that I had to miss. There were a lot of necessary things that I had to miss. Nothing like a flu to drastically reprioritize your day.
But the baby was sick, too, so we were low energy together. Which, as any parent will tell you, is MUCH better than being sick trying to watch a healthy two-and-half-year-old hell bent on frying his own egg, “YOLKY EGG!”.
So, we crawled into Mommy’s bed and slept, a wolf and her cub curled up in the cool dim of a den, hiding away. He fell asleep on my chest like he used to, like he’s almost too big to do anymore, like he might never do again. It’s enough to say that even in the midst of all the aches and coughing I noticed it and was grateful.
That is twice this year that I have been sicker than I have been in a long time. And it has not made for proud Barbara moments. I’m ashamed to admit that both times I came to a point very quickly where I wanted to die. “No, no, Barbara,” I say to myself curled around a bucket on the floor, “You don’t mean that at all. You want to see graduations, and weddings, and grandchildren!” “No, I really think I’d rather die.” “You’re being overdramatic.” “Probably? Hold on, let me check… no, of all the things you mentioned the sudden and immediate cessation of THIS sounds best, let’s go with that one.” I mean, that’s just sad, people. S-A-D.
But I’m feeling better. I still can’t do much. For example, I started watching Jimmy Fallon clips on you tube last night and just didn’t stop them. Two-and-a-half hours later… TWO-AND-A-HALF HOURS. And tonight I’m popping banana chips and contemplating another episode of my new favorite BBC detective show (Foyle’s War!). Things are looking up.
We’ll chat more. This can be a Part 1. Part 2 may be titled, “Further Revelations of the Fever”.