Being the Mommy…


I’m a sucker for those suggested posts in my Facebook feed. Invariably, I click on them, read them, and then wonder who shared them only to learn I’ve been duped again! I mean, what a sucker. If you want to market something to a sucker, field test it on me!

Well, I read one the other day about fifteen celebrities who have said that they won’t ever have children, hard hitting stuff. I doubt very much I could’ve spent a more productive five minutes. And they all had their reasons. And let me say, they were all very valid reasons.

You need to work, you need your sleep, you don’t want things to change, you aren’t good with kids, you don’t want kids, you’d make a terrible parent … VALID!

All of these things are true of me every day at some point or another. All of them! Totally valid!

I often say to myself when we have our little Barbara talks, “Barbara, if this motherhood thing is all and the best you’re supposed to do with your life, wouldn’t you be better at it?” And I am forced to admit to myself and my infallible logic that, “Yes, I think you’re on to something there.”

But motherhood’s given me a lot and I wouldn’t return a particle. I like who I’ve become and I doubt very much there is any other path that would have made me into the tower of patience, selflessness, and maturity I’ve come to be (cough cough).

Right now, I am standing in the glassy atrium of a mall. People are walking by admiring the curly head of my toddler finally asleep in his stroller. What they don’t know is that we were up all night with the sniffles and the amount of mucus I’ve seen in the last twenty-four hours would easily make a few more celebs vow off children. I’m standing here by myself pretending I don’t know my husband and kids are in L’Occitane right now buying me sweet smelling soaps.

And, in this moment, I’m proud of my work. I’m proud of how I’ve changed. I’m proud of how little sleep I got last night. I’m proud of my kids. I’m proud of my less-than-perfect parenting. I’m proud to be the Mommy.

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