“You have enclosed me behind and before, and laid your hand upon me.” Psalm 139:5
“You will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow.” Isaiah 62:2
“I will give them an everlasting name that will endure forever.” Isaiah 56:5
“And I will give him a white stone, and a new name written on the stone which no one knows but he who receives it.” Revelation 2:17
Since I have become a mother I’ve really glommed onto this idea of being hidden in Christ. Barbara, the real Barbara, is hidden away somewhere. She’s hidden away somewhere where she cannot be reached by children, by husband, by chores, by worries or by sleep deprivation. It’s a snug place, but never claustrophobic. It’s not boring nor is it over stimulating. It’s a safe place and only God can access it. And inside there is the true Barbara. Not even I know that Barbara. She’s the Barbara I was meant to be. She has a different name. The name is more Barbara-ish than even “Barbara” can be. One day I will hear that name, see it on a white stone between my hands and recognize it to the tips of my soul as my true name. And I like to think He feeds me my name in little bits, when I need it most. During potty training. In the middle of writer’s block. While cleaning the toilets. In an ugly moment. When I lose my temper. When I think I’ll never create anything ever again. This is who you are. Get a taste. Not enough to be satisfied here in this place. Come closer. Come closer and receive more.
And, if your name isn’t Barbara, try reading this again with your name and with those moments at which you seem most lost about who you are.